To start with, I loved dynamic flow, trying ever more fast paced, difficult poses and chasing flexibility. But I also began to ask myself, what are the asanas for? What is yoga? Why am I doing it? Who says I should put my foot exactly here in trikonasana and why? Why is this pose good for diabetes and this pose good for arthritis? These questions coincided with me being diagnosed with CFS/ME after a virus infection in 2017.
Now recovered this journey back into balance made me curious about what health is. When I first got ill I went to the doctor expecting them to know what was wrong with me and to fix me but, like with so many chronic diseases, it isn’t like that. Many people suffer the same symptoms but they can be due to very varied and individual imbalances in their own systems. As one of my dear friends said to me, “Now you have to really embody your practice!”
I had to take control of my own health and I started by changing to a paleo diet which helped to get rid of my joint pain. I also took the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction course, practised restorative slow, gentle yoga and did lots of yoga nidra and pranayama (breathing techniques). I started to look for the joy in life and took up singing. Slowly, I began to get better. All of these practises helped to rebalance my system with a lot of gentle movement, pranayama, relaxation, loving-kindness and self-awareness I slowly healed. One added bonus I noticed was that the low-level intermittent back pain I had had for 5 years had gone. I had tried to ignore this as surely it couldn’t have been my yoga practice causing my back pain, could it? But in the end, I had to admit it was the way I was practising that was partly to blame. I had been trying to force my body into the asanas (poses) rather than listening to the feedback from my body i.e. the pain and adapting the poses for my wellbeing. I now understand that the poses are there to help me learn about myself, not as ends in themselves. The asanas in yoga were helpful but not because of the shapes they made, they allowed me to notice how my body felt, what sensations were present and how I could modify the movement to find ease and contentment plus how I could undo holding patterns in the body to release energy. When combined with the breath they encouraged me to be present, to notice my thoughts and emotions and in this way to get to know myself better and to form a deeper and more joyful relationship with myself.
My practice, rather than a challenging time for improving myself, became a gentle exploration of me, of the Self. It was no longer something on my to-do list that had to be ticked off but something I looked forward to. It became full of joy and curiosity and wonder at the magical world I am a part of. I began to experience life as relationship and saw the complexity and nuance of all these relationships body, mind, soul, community and environment. As part of this process, I am beginning to unpick my unconscious conditioning and little by little I am finding the freedom to be myself.
I also have vitiligo which really bought me face-to-face with acceptance. For me, acceptance is not a passive place where I just give up and let whatever is happening walk all over me. I see acceptance as dynamic stillness. It is a place where I accept what is happening whilst at the same time making conscious decisions about how I can move forward and live a happy, rewarding, meaningful life. Some days are easier than others - but I still feel at one, relaxed and joyful at the end of my yoga practice whether that is asana, pranayama, meditation, yoga nidra or reflecting whilst drinking tea and staring out of the window. In the quiet and the stillness I find wholeness, freedom and self-compassion.
All of these life experiences are reflected in my teaching. I no longer teach ‘Simon says’ style classes preferring to try and guide people to their own subtle, introspective awareness through questions they can reflect on during their moving and breathing practice. I try to encourage people that come to my classes to be curious about how they are feeling rather than how accurately they can perform an asana. I encourage people not to do as I say but to do as they feel. This is empowering, it enables us all to take charge of our own health and happiness. In this way, the awareness aspect of what yoga can teach us has become the most important benefit yoga has given to me.
As you can see, over the past 30 years my yoga practise has changed significantly, so whether you are interested in stretching, strengthening, meditation, breathing, healing, wellness or mental health, why not come along to my yoga class and let’s see where yoga takes you.
I took my first yoga class in 1989 when yoga was less well known in the UK and still fairly underground. There was a yoga class at my University and a friend encouraged me to go with her. Although I was studying philosophy and had taken a course in Chinese philosophy, I knew very little about Indian philosophy and yoga, and in my mind yoga was basically stretching with some meditation thrown in. I decided to give it a go as I had heard it was relaxing and I thought it might help with my headaches. I remember two things about that class. Firstly, I couldn’t touch my toes and secondly that feeling at the end of the class. I felt completely relaxed, blissed-out, it was like coming home. I felt comfortable in my own skin and that was it, I have been practising ever since.
After University I moved to London and kept up my yoga practice at Innergy with Fausto Dorelli. I practised yoga through three pregnancies and it definitely kept me sane as a new and anxious Mum. In the early 2000’s I took a vinyasa class and then like many other people got hooked on Jivamukti and dynamic flow. At this time yoga studios began to spring up all over London and yoga moved into the mainstream. I became entwined in yoga’s journey as it became part of the fitness industry.
Qualifications and Continued Professional Development
1989 - 1992 Politics and Philosophy Degree University of York
2002 Shiatsu Diploma, London College of Shiatsu
2005 Yoga Teacher Training Certification (TTC) - Sivananda Ashram Kerala
2007 Pregnancy Yoga TTC with Francois Barbira Freedman
2008 Baby Yoga TTC with Francois Barbira Freedman
2009 Post Natal Yoga TTC with Francois Barbira Freedman
2015 Jason Crandall Teacher Renewal Course
2015 Stephanie Snyder whole weekend workshop on hips
2016 Yoga For Healthy Lower Backs TTC
2018 Subtle Yoga Revolution TTC with Kristine Kaoverii Weber
2019 Gentle is The New Advanced - J Brown at Triyoga
2019 Peter Blackaby Workshop
2019 Healing an Anxious Planet - Yoga Campus
2019 Yoga in the NHS - The Minded Institute
2020 The Yoga and Neuroscience Connection with Kristine Kaoverii Weber
2020 Loving Knowing Growing with Tara Brach, Rick Hanson and Joseph Goldstein
2020 Workshop on Chronic Pain with Peter Blackaby
2020 Ayurveda for Yoga Teachers with Chara Caruders
2021 Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Course TTC Level 1 - Bangor University and The Mindfulness Network
2023 Diploma Yoga Therapy, The Minded Institute, London
2024 Foundation Level Non Violent Communication course